Sometimes you wake up, look at yourself in the mirror and think:
“Good lord, I look like crap!”
As anti-Operation Beautiful as that statement is, I definitely have been feeling that way lately. It’s been affecting my mindset, and I think my blogging as well. You may’ve noticed that during February I wasn’t quite as chatty as I have been. This past month I was really feeling the writer’s block. I mean, I had things going on in my life, but I just didn’t feel like I had anything to say about those things. Then when I did have words in my fingers that were dying to come out, they were all negative. Throughout my life, I have been pegged the grumpy (okay, okay, bitchy…) chick. Not so much in recent years, but some of that reputation hangs over my head. I kept thinking that I didn’t want to bring that to the blog.
Who wants to hear me bitch about things that I’m not really even putting all that much effort into changing, right?
I don’t want to mislead you into thinking that I have been sitting around, completely miserable for a month. That isn’t true. I saw Avenue Q and B.B. King live. Both were superb. I raced in a 5K and met a blogging friend. I made pancakes and ate chocolate peanut butter on my farro. I had sweet Valentine’s PEZ presents. It really wasn’t a bad month. There were just some moments, especially when I sat down at my computer, where I just felt really….BLAH.
Yesterday I had a tiny meltdown. Actually, it wasn’t really a meltdown at all…it was just hormones bringing that blah to the surface. I did a little text venting and made some decisions about how I want to change some of those things that were hanging around, bumming me out. While not all things are easily fixed, others are…and I need to at least try to work on them, right?
First on the list of things I need to do: Cut my hair and stop looking frumpy just because I’m all emo about gaining weight and my jeans being tight.
Seriously, just because you gain weight, doesn’t mean you need to look fugly. There are plenty of heavy women who look put together and, dare I say it, hot. Now while I would never, ever claim that I look even remotely hot, I sure don’t have to look like a loser just because I put on some poundage. Being fugly, is a choice, my friends. It’s all about giving yourself some love and having some attitude.
So I went out to get me some.
(like my super organized race ribbons and bibs storage? Cough…)
I had been planning to do the side-swept bangs thing, similar to what Caitlin did, but after my stylist and I talked it over, we decided to do it a little differently. Having not had bangs since 1991, I was a little hesitant. Due to this, we did layers and then she cut the front a little shorter, so that if I want to give the bang thing a try, I totally can, but I’m not committed to it. She showed me how to blow dry it so the bangs thing will work out and she said if I end up liking it, then to just come back in and she will cut them shorter for free. This seemed like a good idea. I will give the bangs thing a go the next time I go to the gym, as I don’t own a blow dryer (shocking!).
It was really nice to sit back, have a really good scalp massage during the shampoo and talk all about dogs and cats with the stylist. I usually am kind of quiet with people I don’t know, but I just opened up today. I left feeling pretty awesome, and it continued when I came into work and every single person I saw complimented my hair first thing. Most of them didn’t even realize I had long hair, as I wear it in a ponytail everyday. One of my co-workers even said, “I can’t believe how long your hair is getting!” and then was shocked when I informed him that I had just come from getting it cut!
So item one on my plan of action is complete.
Now to come up with the rest of the plan…oy!
What kind of hairstyle are you currently rocking? Anything new (like bangs?!) that you’d like to try?